An Irish womanof past middle age visited her physican to ask his advice on reviving her husband's libido.

'What about trying Viagra?' asked the doctor.

'Not a chance' she said. 'He won't even take an asprin.'

'Not a problem,' replied the doctor. 'Give him an 'Irish Viagra'. It's when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee.

He won't even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how it went.

   It wasn't a week later when she called the doctor. who inquired as to her progress. The poor dear exclaimed, 'Oh, faith bejasus and begorrah! 'Twas horrid! Just terrible, doctor!'

'Really? What happened? asked the doctor.

   'Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the effect was almost immediate. He jumped straight up, with a twinkle in his eye and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arm, he sent me cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatteres and took me then and there passionately on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!'

   'Why so terrible?' asked the doctor. 'Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn't good?'

   'Freakin' jaysus, 'twas the best sex I've had in 25 years! But as sure as I'm sittin' here, I'll never be able to show me face in Starbucks, again!' 

   GO, OLD MEN, EVERYWHERE!

After exciting hot nice 69 with his girlfriend, Paul remembered he had a dentist appointment. He was afraid that the dentist would smell pu**y on his breath, so he brush his teeth 7 times, used dental floss 8 times and on top of that two litters of listering. As he arrived at the dentist he sucked 5 strong mints. His turn came up and the dentist told him to take a seat. Feeling confident and relaxed, he open his mouth wide. The dentist got close enough and said (man did you have to do 69 before you came here?). Paul said (does my breath smell like pu**y?) The dentist replied (no!! your forhead smells like sh**!)

LOL @ Mel thats too cute!

Thanks...it's a sad thing, how much time I have on my hands right now lol!  Off to bed...sweet ROTn dreams! 

Old Guys Rule!

YAY OLD GUYS!!!!!!!   (wait that didn't sound right)

YAY ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  (ok, that's better)

                                  WHY SOME MEN HAVE DOGS & NOT WIVES

1.  The later you are, the more excited your dog is to see you.                                                                                        

2.  Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

3.  Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

4.  A dog's parents never visit.

5.  Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

6.  You never have to wait on a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.

7.  Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

8.   Dogs like to go hunting and fishing. 

9.  A dog will not wake you up at night to ask. "If I died,would you get another dog?

10.  If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.

12.  If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it is interesting.

13.  Dogs like to ride in the back of your truck.

14.  If a dog leaves, it won't take half  your stuff.

   Ultimate Test:  Lock your wife and your dog in the trunk of your car for an hour. Then open the trunk and see who is the happiest to see you!

BillyPop said:

                                  WHY SOME MEN HAVE DOGS & NOT WIVES

1.  The later you are, the more excited your dog is to see you.                                                                                        

2.  Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

3.  Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

4.  A dog's parents never visit.

5.  Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

6.  You never have to wait on a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.

7.  Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

8.   Dogs like to go hunting and fishing. 

9.  A dog will not wake you up at night to ask. "If I died,would you get another dog?

10.  If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.

12.  If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it is interesting.

13.  Dogs like to ride in the back of your truck.

14.  If a dog leaves, it won't take half  your stuff.

 

   Ultimate Test:  Lock your wife and your dog in the trunk of your car for an hour. Then open the trunk and see who is the happiest to see you!